Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
