Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
