plz talk dirty to me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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