Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
