I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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