But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize