She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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