I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
