just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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