There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
