But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
