Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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