I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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