i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
