Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
accomplished twins. life is a go
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
