We're like a lot better than the average bears
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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