I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
zippers are such a cool invention
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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