This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
