All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
