I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Success! We fucked roommates!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
