Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
