Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
that's an acceptable place to lick
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
