Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
