we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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