i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
