Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
