you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
