There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
