I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
