Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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