OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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