You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
