i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
