I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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