I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
