Im at strip club and am horny
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
