Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
