I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
