North Korea, Best Korea!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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