im six kinds of drunk right now
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
