You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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