Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just found a bag of teeth...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
