I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
