Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
