So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
