I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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