dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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