my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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