Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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