Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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